The blond needs a decaf!

Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of the local college. This is the story of an actual conversation between him and a certain blonde customer:

Her: Yes, I'd like a milk with some coffee in it.

Me: So, that's just a splash of coffee in a milk?

Her: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee.

Me: Is there more milk or coffee?

Her: Oh, definitely more coffee.

Me: So that's a coffee with some extra milk.

Her: Just the usual amount of milk.

Me: A coffee with milk.

Her: Yes.

Me: Anything else?

Her: A little extra milk and do you have coffee with no caffeine?

Me: We do have decaf.

Her: No, I don't want decaf, just some coffee without the caffeine.

Me: Ma'am, that's what decaf means, no caffeine.

Her: Oh, then do you have milk with no caffeine?

Me: Milk doesn't come with caffeine.

Her: Yes it does.

Me: Not that I know of, where do you get your milk?

Her: It doesn't say caffeine free on the milk so it must have caffeine.

Me: Oh, you're right, my mistake, I forgot that we only get the decaf milk. No problem, we have only decaf milk. Anything else?

Her: Do you have any bagels?

Bill: (who has been listening all along): I'm sorry, ma'am, we're all out of decaf bagels.

Her: Well, what are those? (pointing at sesame bagels)

Bill: Those are sesame donuts with extra caffeine added.

Her: I guess I'll just have the coffee.

Her: Do you take credit cards?

Me: No ma'am, cash only.

Her: What about Visa?

Me: Is that a credit card?

Her: Well, yes.

Bill: Is it cash?

Her: No.

Bill: Then no, we can't take it.

Her: What about checks?

Me: Cash ma'am, nothing else.

Her: O.K.

Her: How much is that?

Bill: Eleven dollars and 45 cents.

Her: Really?

Bill: New war in Alaska is ruining the coffee business, plus you wanted the coffee with no caffeine, that's hard to find now, had to grow it myself.

Her: O.K. (proceeds to write a check)

Bill: Please leave.

Her: Why?

Bill: You're raising my blood pressure, leave now.

Her: But what about my coffee?

Bill: Leave and never return.

She leaves, but pays the $11.45 first. Seriously.

The nun`s underwear!

Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.

One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black." One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.

The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."

Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished. One of the nuns spoke up, "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird." After saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should be wearing any underwear under their vestments.

Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no underwear, and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house. They peeked at the bird.

At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.

Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!"